Tiger Woods – What positives can come out of this?
What’s next; the beginning of the solution
Christine Brennan wrote in her column on Thursday, April 8, 2010:
“If I were managing Tiger’s career (now there’s a reach), I would have demanded that he miss a major no matter what, if only for show.”
This caught me by surprise but understand her effort to make her point. This to me is more evidence of our world rewarding perception and deception versus purpose, reality, reason and substance.
What’s more punishment?
1. Skipping a major tournament to hide fm a humiliating and humbling experience or
2. Standing on the tee knowing what every single person in and outside of the ropes, millions on TV, more millions soaking up all the articles written are all thinking?
The burden is incredible and very difficult to fathom. Tiger didn’t even have a teammate to lean on, but he has a Mom standing behind her son during the good and bad times in life and no doubt has a wife who hasn’t figured out a way to handle the millions out there scrutinizing her every move.
Nike is there for support as a sponsor when he isn’t on the course. On the course, he is on his own, tons on his mind and a little white ball that has to be stroked with perfection. This is punishment because he has to do it with the danger of his mind moving in every direction imaginable. This whole setting was a humiliating and humbling experience @ its highest level and Tiger did the world a favor by accepting the challenge if we are in to learning lessons on how life works.
I don’t know too many people who could do what Tiger Woods is doing by playing @ the Master in Augusta, but it probably shouldn’t be surprising. He’s been doing things out of the ordinary since he was born. Put another way, he was born to do something out of the ordinary yet he is the one responsible for anointing and validating himself.
The Tiger Wood’s saga lends even more credibility to how life works. “We were put on the earth to validate and anoint ourselves beyond anything people say, write, believe, think or report.” Lectures, articles, video, quick fix pep talks and all that makes up the world of sports do not matter. Nothing else matters. It’s just the way life works. There is a lesson on how fragile life and careers are. If Tiger can stumble, anyone can stumble and fall. If Tiger can pick himself back up, he sets a standard we all can live by.
What would you tell any person who is working for a living? Miss your next assignment? No, you would tell them to get back to work, you have a responsibility to earn your keep; provide for those in your care. Everything is more important than you, the person. You also have the obligation to face those who care about you. Respect, trust, love and caring levels are earned. No one is in a position to demand them. They take time to build, and once built they can withstand the most emotional and traumatic experiences.
Life is all about choices and we all end up living with our choices. The magnitude of this situation is clearly evident and even a part of the sermon delivered on April 11, 2010 @ United Methodist Church in Milton, FL. The pastor mentioned Tiger Woods and his road to restoration. Will it happen?
If I was managing Tiger Woods (now there’s a reach), I guess I would have to mention how life really works:
You were born with an incredible talent; the ability to express your skills and those skills are well documented. The skill to express your skill is what makes you successful. You learned early in life that the value of those skills was directly influenced by your attitude, swagger, boldness, gregariousness and competitive instincts. The only thing standing in the way of your legacy is you. Take some time to get to know the real you. Sort out all the blind spots that others see in you that you do not see in yourself. Two of those are your caring and giving levels; the last two levels highly rewarded people recognize and respond to. Get out of yourself and bring some real people in to your life.
No one can ever prepare you for the day you make a huge mistake in life. The only thing that gets you through the moment is all the love and caring that comes from those around you and you recognizing you made a mistake or have a problem. It all starts with the immediate family and builds on fm there in the world of sports.
Every person needs three (3) to (6) mentors. The amount of your public love and caring will be clearly visible once you are inside the ropes and hitting the golf ball. The level can go higher but only if you reciprocate by showing your love and caring level; respecting and trusting others. Respect, trust, love and caring have two winners or no winners.
I can fully understand why going in to seclusion @ home or a treatment center is the way to go. Traumatic and emotional mistakes create an immediate “what’s next” scenario, so there is a lot of planning to do. The safest place to do that is in your home where you feel most comfortable. In Tiger’s case it is magnified considerably. We know about our failures; no one needs to tell us. What’s next is all about rehabilitation and restoring what you’ve lost.
We do know the following:
No one is perfect, we live in an imperfect world and our social status doesn’t exclude us; we are not entitled to anything and we are just as susceptible to wrong decisions as any other person. We are humans. Humans need to spend more time getting to know the person inside their body. Once we find out who and what we are we can figure out where we are going and how we are going to get there. Problems never go away. You attack the problem and solve the problem. Most of us need others to help us help ourselves.
No one is perfect, and it's unfair of us to expect any person to be. In looking for flaws, we may be overlooking real talent. When I look in the mirror I see things I wish I could change. I try to keep that in mind when I judge others. Our responsibility to those in our care is to help them build a good life; not spend our time condemning.
Critics or no critics, we are all going to get a label in life. I've seen great people with great labels and not so great labels. I've seen not so great people having great labels and I've seen them labeled properly. There is not much in between when it comes to labels. The main thing about labels is they are tough to shake; right or wrong. The one guarantee is you will get a label; especially in the game of hockey.
Sometimes we think that the things that are happening to us don't happen to everyone else. It's hard for us, and the people around us, to accept our 'special circumstance' as a huge mistake or the product of an unfair society or life. Hard times give us the opportunity to reflect on the good things and grow. As difficult and harsh as it appears, we need to honor the situation and turn our thoughts to the future with resolve. We need to remove obstacles that prevent us from a daily critiquing of our lives, so we can move toward being a detailed person that cares about others while in the process of building our lives and maximizing our potential.
The "key words" are caring and giving levels. If we care, we have to accept the fact that we share and carry other peoples' burdens and problems; when someone is hurt physically, mentally or have a problem, we all hurt.
Those close to Tiger are smart to be patient, humble, gentle, kind and show compassion while working with him. In a sense these people in our lives go way past the acquaintance and companion levels. They are closer to the "real friend" level where we can go see them unannounced, pour out our heart and listen to them pour out theirs. We have the responsibility to "corner them" and tell them things they may not want to hear in addition to compliments. We have the responsibility to provide meaningful experiences so they can grow. This is the responsibility of Tiger’s inner circle. Sound familiar?
We all recognize the need for support systems in every person's life, but it still comes down to each of us just "getting it done". This process has a way of separating the strong from the Wannabe; people who believe they can make a difference versus people who only “think” they can be something. Tiger embodies the statement, “Think and believe big, apply some determination, and big things will happen.” The path he travels has no room for the timid and weak minded.
Keep supporting each other as one big family and the results will be dynamic. We are all part of something much bigger than all of us combined; namely each person's life and career. Do all this and the people keep growing; the honors keep coming and everyone gets better.
The highest honor any parent can receive is someone declaring, “Your child is a special athlete and an even better person. Your child is a detail person, cares about others before any personal gain; knowing that personal gains come fm being a detail person and caring about others.
So I guess my wish for Tiger would be people saying, “Mrs. Woods, I love and respect your son because he is a detail person and cares about others before any personal gain. He is a great athlete but an even better person.” He can start by saying, "The clubs Steve Mara has are authentic. If he's in a position where he needs to sell them to help his family, I want to personally endorse his efforts and will do what it takes to finalize the sale."
Being authentic is paramount in the case of Tiger. How hard is it for someone to look @ you and say, "What you see is what you get?" This should not be something you have to work @. This should be you; you caring about people, you wanting to make a difference in other peoples' lives, you wanting to make the world a better place to live. You are that big and it can be done. This is nothing more than the desire to do something bigger than you for others. Putting it bluntly; it's all about Tiger the person, not Tiger the golfer; you getting out of yourself and bringing others in to your life.
If everything falls in to place, the great ones never arrive; they always have something to prove. Tiger will go on to break every record and leave a legacy that will impact our society forever and be tough to surpass; one more career salvaged and restored. All anyone needs to ask when they make a mistake: "I need the chance to redeem myself and I will."
If it doesn’t happen, Tiger failed to see his blind spots, and the adoring crowds will switch to someone with more substance; as will the corporate world. It may have started when Tiger received a lukewarm greeting on the 1st tee Sunday and Phil Mickelson’s started winning the crowd over with his play and subsequent win on Sunday. Phil’s feel good story will win over any fan or corporation.
You can go out and get all the spin doctors you want. They are @ your disposal but don’t waste your money. It’s all about you!
We get our start in life, go through some ups, downs, scrutiny and adversity; what really matters is how we end up when it's all over.
Fast forward now to January 27, 2011. Tiger's quote in the Toronto Globe and Mail reads: "I think in order to play this game at a high level, it helps to have a clear mind," Woods said. "I've played at the high levels before in the past without a clear mind, but it helps to be consistent. It helps having your life in balance."
Ole Gringo says, "I believe he will play better as he discovers the commitment required of a purpose driven person. People with purpose have a clear mind and have no problem expressing their skills because they are always sharing, caring and giving in addition to practicing and playing."
Copyright by Chuck Grillo, Minnesota Hockey Camps24621 So Clark Lake Rd P.O. Box 90 Nisswa, MN 56468-0090Phone 218.96.2444 Fax 218.963.2325
Email chuck@mnhockeycamps.comAll rights reserved.No part of this book, blog OR template may be reproduced or transmitted in any form by any means without permission in writing from Minnesota Hockey Camps
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