Critics & Blind Spots

Critics – Blind Spots

Critics are plentiful in our society. "Bite your tongue" when your feelings tell you to respond to their constant degrading mentality. These people are in place to help you develop the skills of ignoring their comments and moving on to what's important. I took the time to challenge them publicly when their goal was to destroy a human life. I also took the path of sending them a letter versus airing it out in the press.

Successful people are threats to their existence so don’t put these people in a position of regulating your goals and objectives in the game of hockey and life. You may have to separate yourself from being "one of the boys". This is the group that so many "critics" adhere to. Try to be "one of the boys" by not criticizing their efforts and moving on with your own. It takes a special skill to show unconditional respect for others while creating your own path in life. How do you show respect for the kid who drinks in excess, uses drugs or chews tobacco? Show them unconditional respect and love, lead by example and hope they follow. Leave the door open for them to join the high percentage on the right path.

Critics have their place in our society. They give you more reason to maximize your potential in life and they harden you to the point where their comments mean little or nothing. They treat people like dogs but, "There are two things for which animals are to be envied: they know nothing of future evils, or of what people say about them. "

Competitive people who get it done are people capable of creating their own path in face of jealousy and unjust criticism. Resolve defeats any bad comments, but critiquing also gives us an opportunity to look @ ourselves.

Blind spots

We all have blind spots. These are things that others see in us that we fail to see in ourselves. Ten people may see a weakness in our game or personality and we cannot spot that weakness or we simply fail to recognize it. We have to be able to listen and comprehend what others say and feel about us. It doesn't do a coach or anyone else any good to tell us something if we are incapable of telling ourselves. Good coaches and mentors are very capable of telling us what we do not want to hear. I struggle with coaches and parents who are always telling their players and kids what they think they want to hear. Many times coaches and teachers are asked to fulfill a role that parents should help fill. Parents are afraid to tell their children what is “real”. They expect the teacher or coach to do it, and if it doesn't work out it is not their fault.

I know countless players who have "blind spots" when it comes to assets. They don't have any idea how good they could be, or any idea how some unique asset of theirs could impact a team.
They don't realize success is just around the corner and all they need is to apply their intangibles and go for it; develop an attitude, swagger, boldness and competitive instincts that take you beyond your skill and mind sets.

We also have blind spots when we fail to recognize all that is going on around us.

Johari Window

There are basically four windows. The first is things we know about ourselves and others also know about us. We are comfortable with this. The second is things we know about ourselves, but others do not. We learn to live with it because no one knows and they are never going to know. Let's call this "skeletons in our closet". Some of us have enough for two or more closets. The third is the sub conscious, which is affected by the other three. Sub Conscious is most affected by the fourth, which are blind spots. We need to recognize and clean out as many blind spots as possible so that we have a clear head. If your head isn't clear, your feet and hands do not work. If your feet and hands do not work, and your head isn't clear, you will have trouble playing the game of hockey and surviving in your work and life in general. We have to learn to appreciate good mentors and people capable of telling us what we do not want to hear. We also have to appreciate and listen to those who care enough to tell us our strengths.

Carrie L Wood-Grillo says, “Vulnerability is a sign of strength. It shows the absence of fear. Some blind spots for players are not having the ability to become vulnerable. Not being able to risk failure. By not telling someone what they should hear gives them a false sense of accomplishment and it does not teach them to become vulnerable.”

There is a flip side to all this once players reach some sort of pinnacle. The great players seem to be able to tell you what you don't want to hear and they are very capable of telling you what they think of you. There is something in their makeup that makes them want to do this. The great players have to guard against this so they can be labeled a great player and a great person; one who is detailed and cares about others before any personal gains.

The most teachable moments are when a young player realizes he has made a mistake and when they see what others see in them. Creating awareness that constructive criticism is the answer makes it all easier.

-Ole Gringo-

ã copyright Chuck Grillo, Minnesota Hockey Camps
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