Mentoring - A responsibility beyond imagination

MENTORS CREATING AWARENESS

“The most teachable moments are when a young player realizes he has a bad game, make a mistake or falls short in some category. This is the time to reflect, reach in to the future and impact a person’s life by making it better.”

MENTORS CREATING AWARENESS


Priorities are simple when dealing with aspiring athletes;

“My obligations to you are greater than your obligations to me.”

People you mentor need to know how you feel about them, what the future plans are, where they are going and how they are going to get there.

“Great mentors have that unique ability to read the heart, soul and mind of a person and put it in to words AND on paper. We all share some basic psychological needs. Some of those needs are being liked and respected for things we work hard for and do well. We need to have an understanding of where we are going and how we are going to get there. We need to know why we are liked and appreciated. We need to sort out our assets and liabilities so we can formulate a plan.”

Successful leaders and “real” people/players know themselves inside and out, appreciate teammates who are different than they are, and have the unique ability to adjust and win in any situation. They empower people to be who they are and give steady direction toward the end result. They fully understand that developing mentally is a much tougher task than developing physically. Mindset rules over skillset. Ability to express your skills will ultimately determine your success.

When people know and understand themselves, all their strengths will surface. Understanding your “blind spots” is paramount. This is nothing more than you seeing yourself like others see you. One, there are things you know about yourself that others know, and you are comfortable with it. Two, there are things you know about yourself, that others will never know, and you are comfortable with that. We all have skeletons in our closest, but we learn to live with them. I had to build another closest. Three, there are all the “blind spots” that prevent us from being what we can be; our failure to see ourselves like others see us. Four, there is the sub-conscious mind; so powerful that it doesn’t know what is real and what is imagined and is influenced by the first three. Knowing and understanding all four allows us to live, train, compete and execute with a “clear head”. This is one way to acquire the ability to express our skills.

Good mentors adapt to a person’s behavioral style. The style of the mentor is not near as important as the mentor adapting to other peoples’ styles. When people sense you have a passion for what you do, and you “really care” about them, you will be able to maximize their potential.

Mentoring is all about creating an awareness; an awareness of how life and the mind work, an awareness of assets and liabilities, an awareness of assets and liabilities that others see in you that you do not see in yourself and finally an awareness of; “Where am I @ this moment in my life and career?” Do I possess that unique skill of expressing my skills? Mentors raise your curiosity level and cause you to think. This is the goal of our camp in the Brainerd Lakes Area; do this for every player. This is our primary goal. Players begin to improve when they are able to constructively critique, and see in themselves, what others see.

Sharing our trade secrets is the most positive way to mentor young people. The idea of “giving back” and “sharing concepts” defines a true mentor. There is nothing like instilling character, ethics and decision making skills in young players. There are too many “formal mentors” in the world. Mentoring isn’t a title. We need to get to a level where “informal mentors” do what they do because they want a daily diet of interacting with those they unconditionally care for and they do it out of love for the person, the game and life. The same holds true for all leaders; this will enable every management, scouting and coaching staff to reach their full potential.

The important thing to remember when dealing with natural athletes is;

“The last thing to develop is the attitude, swagger, boldness and killer instinct.” They are so gifted that they tend to think that everything “just happens”. “All I need is my equipment and a chance and it will happen.” Life doesn’t work that way. Until we figure out life, we can’t figure out how to express our skills.

It all comes down to defining your beliefs and then showing those in your care that you are “real and passionate” about your life and work. Examine, evaluate and determine your “real beliefs” and always tell it like it is. This way you will never be put in a position to remember what you say.

Everyone needs mentors; from CEO’s and leaders of companies down to every single employee in the company. Every person needs to learn, grow and become more than what we are. Change is inevitable. We all need someone who has been down the road and want to help us get where we want to go; not where we “think we want to go, but really want to go.”

The speeches @ the beginning of the season are great and so is that first visit with those who are in your care. If there is no steady follow-up, that speech and visit are meaningless and forgotten in a very short time. Lasting effects are the goal of every good mentor so follow-up is important. Talking “with”, versus talking “to”, is imperative.

“Responsibility is accepting what needs to be done; accountability is doing what needs to be done!”

I don’t know of an experience in life that teaches us more about ourselves than mentoring others. We learn something from every mentoring experience. “Real people” are always willing to share their thoughts, ideas and beliefs. They are not “role players responding to the environment of the moment”. They do what they want, and feel like doing, based on their beliefs, morals and convictions. They do not worry about changing with the environment of the situation and they do not look over your shoulder to make contact with a more important person in the room or setting.

Most great mentors have been down the road and they have maintained a curiosity about life that enables them to grow. They have a tremendous passion for life, the game and the future of others. Some are former players and will not be one of those ex-players resigned to sitting around, drinking beer, playing cards and telling old "war stories". They are going to have a worthwhile experience to talk about every single day of their life as a mentor.

There are no secrets to success. You will never hear a successful player say, "I lived my life for myself, I slept in everyday, I am a couch potato, I didn't train and I live to drink beer with my buddies. In addition, I have zero energy, no real interests, I am unethical, lethargic, have zero vision, have been accused of narcissism and guess what? I just landed in the NHL because I was drafted or someone thought I was a decent free agent.”

You will hear them say, “I am a detail person and I care about others. I have always put the welfare of those I care about ahead of any personal gain. I am finding more success by sharing than I would have by standing alone. I have a work ethic second to none both on and off the ice.”

You also want to hear them say, “Hockey brings me a lot of joy. The rink is the one place where I can be myself, have peace with myself, because I’ve learned how to have fun and express myself.”

- Ole Gringo -

ã copyright Chuck Grillo, Minnesota Hockey Camps
24621 So Clark Lake Rd P.O. Box 90 Nisswa, MN 56468-0090
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